Girl Toddler: Are you Dracula?

Ana: No.

Girl Toddler: We don't like Dracula.

Ana: Nope. We don't want to meet him in the dark.

Girl Toddler: No, because he will come out and he will bite your leg and drink you like soda!
Girl Toddler: I have a good mommy and a good daddy!

Ana: Yes you do, baby bear.

Girl Toddler: But Luke Skywalker has a bad daddy.

Hear that, Vader? You have officially failed parenting class.

Open... What?

Tuesday, September 6th, 2016 02:52 pm
Girl Toddler: Open this for me?

*Hands over lollypop.*

Ana: Open? What's the magic word?

Girl Toddler: Sesame!

It's a new era, folks.
Who'd have thought. I've been doing it wrong for years! Apparently, to make smoothies, one must do the following:

"First you get a smoovie, then you put the yellow in, then you put it in the oven, and then you eat it!"

If I weren't so exhausted, I'd be laughing my head off.
"I really like soda, mommy. It makes you strong like dinosaurs!"

I'll be kind and refrain from telling her that if she wants to grow strong like a dinosaur, she'd do better drinking more vegetable juice. No need to crush tiny delusions just yet, after all.